The panto Dames dress
More pictures of ColostomyBag emerge. This time they are seen in shock after the surprise resignation of Aggro.
Nitro, who informed us that he will be taking on Aggro's role in the band, told us that he was "well gutted" and "right f*cked up" by his former friend's decision, as he adjusted his hair.
"I'm not sure how we'll cope, but we managed after Sancho got run over by a replica PzkwIII at our D-Day re-enactment gig in '94, and after Zippo the keyboard player set his own g*nitals on fire at the Burning Man festival. ColostomyBag is bigger than any of its members", he grunted in his bestial fashion.
Kenzo seemed less alarmed, and denied that his worried look was anything to do with Aggro's departure.
"I was just concerned about the plight of the poorly educated and opressed women of the sub-Saharan region", he blagged. "I read in the Guardian only the other week that they are fed milk night and day to force them to become fat. I personally find that revolting, to the point of being physically sick. No-one wants a porker!"
Kenzo vowed that ColostomyBag's next album would highlight the problems faced by the sub-Saharan region.
A spokesman for the band's manager's wife said that the band would be taking some time out to gaze at their own navels.
"Ees a creeteecal part of theee creeateeve process", it croaked.
But despite the brave face, the band will clearly miss the creative input of Aggro. In a statement read by a small man impersonating his lawyer, nothing useful that could shed any light on the complicated situation was said.
Nitro, who informed us that he will be taking on Aggro's role in the band, told us that he was "well gutted" and "right f*cked up" by his former friend's decision, as he adjusted his hair.
"I'm not sure how we'll cope, but we managed after Sancho got run over by a replica PzkwIII at our D-Day re-enactment gig in '94, and after Zippo the keyboard player set his own g*nitals on fire at the Burning Man festival. ColostomyBag is bigger than any of its members", he grunted in his bestial fashion.
Kenzo seemed less alarmed, and denied that his worried look was anything to do with Aggro's departure.
"I was just concerned about the plight of the poorly educated and opressed women of the sub-Saharan region", he blagged. "I read in the Guardian only the other week that they are fed milk night and day to force them to become fat. I personally find that revolting, to the point of being physically sick. No-one wants a porker!"
Kenzo vowed that ColostomyBag's next album would highlight the problems faced by the sub-Saharan region.
A spokesman for the band's manager's wife said that the band would be taking some time out to gaze at their own navels.
"Ees a creeteecal part of theee creeateeve process", it croaked.
But despite the brave face, the band will clearly miss the creative input of Aggro. In a statement read by a small man impersonating his lawyer, nothing useful that could shed any light on the complicated situation was said.
posted by Dark Hunter at
Friday, October 07, 2005
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