In da pub

You can find me in da pub with a pint of Bud
Look, Love, I've got a fiver if I can see your jugs
I'm in to playing darts, I ain't in to growing
shrubs
So come fill up my mug before my fag gets stubbed

In da Olde Cheshire Cheese
I cough and weeze
Cos' thanks to the haze my lungs are squeezed
I head to the basement, head right down
To the bottom of the cheapest pub in town

It's smoke-dark and I can't see straight
And I can't keep up as I'm a lightweight
So I berate my mate Moz cos' he's late
Phil's late too so I ought to slag him
But I lay off as he's come all the way from fracking
Eggham

Talk about gigs and hunting tw*t
Bullshit about life and this and that
Undemanding but satisfying pub chat
Look around and see only people having fun
Just like on the common back in Wimbledon

You can find me on the floor with a busted jaw
I really meant it when I said "I don't want no more"
And now I'm p*ssed, as well as p*ss poor
And I know I've p*ssed in my suit for sure