Aggro found!

Sheep and Spaceman Tintin
Originally uploaded by Dark Hunter.

Colostomybag's missing piccolo player Aggro was today sighted on the moon with legendary Belgian cartoon spaceman 'Tintin'.

This news came as a massive shock to the band's loyal followers, as Aggro had once declaimed in fashionable Hoxton's Ziegfried that he "hated all that f*cking useless Belgian ruubbish" and that he'd "rather spank off a dirty monkey" than "go tae the moon wi' a wee orange boy".

Even the most tired and cynical of cr*ppy NME-stylee blag rags seemed surprised at this apparent contradiction.

So has Aggro finally flipped?
When will he run out of oxygen?
Does this mean that a Colostomybag reunion tour is in the pipeline?

And, more importantly, who cares?

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NEWSFLASH
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This just in - Tintin's agent Snowie claims to have signed Aggro to his label Labell. Snowie has failed to achieve world-wide success with Tintin after a series of hits with Flemish phlegm-warblers Gggraaaag.

In a shock announcement to the press, Snowie claimed that Aggro's unique piccolo technique would bring gravitas and little high pitched squeaks to the band's repetoire. Tintin's current percussionist, Captain Had Och Aye the Noo was said to be ecstatic about the new 'signing'.

"He'll bring a wee drop o' class tae the band", Haddock muttered. "And I've huurd he's no bad at the hurling, too".

343 Colostomybag fans hanged themselves worldwide after the announcement, which casts grave doubts on the likelihood of the band re-forming.